Steven Wright, by Jacques Two Tone

So, this is a gentleman who I can pretty much guarantee that you’ve heard one of his jokes. You may not have known the source, but this man is one of the greatest purveyors of surreal, ironic and just plain weird one liners.
I’m not even joking when I say this. Some of the things he comes out with are only funny just for the fact they are so bizarre.

“I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.”

You’ll also recognise his distinct slow, drawling delivery of his jokes too. If you care to imagine the stereotypical stoner as portrayed in a typical Hollywood blockbuster, I imagine you’ll come fairly close to his tone. This doesn’t hurt his comedic prospects in the slightest, quite the opposite in fact. His bizzare look and distinctive tone only help to cement him in my mind.

“I have an existential map. It has ‘You are here’ written all over it.”

The problem is, with a vast amount of comics, I always feel the need to point out that it’s not going to be for everyone, but with this man, I don’t feel the need to do so. In fact, I recommend that everybody goes and at least checks him out, because there’s nothing offensive in any of his jokes, but they’re just strange enough that people who like that brand of humour will still get a lot out of it, plus there’s quite a few clever jokes in there that the more sophisticated humorist amongst you will come away feeling satisfied with.

“I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world… perhaps you’ve seen it.”

He really is the type of comic who brings something to the table for you all, which can only be a positive thing, although you could always argue that this just weakens his impact in circles of people that aim for a particular brand of comedy. I’d argue against this, though, simply because until recent times, there haven’t been many comics that have even attempted to replicate his style.

So, go forth, buy a CD or DVD and laugh at the sheer oddness that gushes forth from his mouth. You’ll definitely get some fun out of it, and you just might discover who came out with that joke you’ve been telling for years.

Here’s a few Quotes for you to enjoy!!

“Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?”

“Don’t you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.”

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”

“Hermits have no peer pressure.”

“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.”

“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”